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Hollinger Corp. 



Playing m Society Belle 

»S 635 >. Vo 

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Copy 1 THE TRAGEDY OF A SUPPER 

Comedy Monologue For Lady 
time, 15 minutes 



By BERTHA M. WILSON 




P^ 



PRICE, 15 CENTS 



EDGAR S. WERNER 

108 East 16th Street, New York 

1895 

CopyrigLt, 1894, by Edgar S. Werner 



. ) 



X 



Monologues, Plays, Drills, Entertainments. 



THE VAGABOND PRINCE. By Ed. L. 
McDowell. This love and tragedy mon- 
ologue for a man Is designed as a 
companion piece to "Zingarella, the 
Gypsy Flower Girl" (monologue for a 
woman, 15 cts.). Effective with gypsy 
costume, and tambourine. Price, 20 cts. 

THE DEATH DREAM. By LIVINGSTON 
Russell. Intensely dramatic monologue 
for a man, from the play of '' The Bells," 
played by Henry Irving. Five full-page 
illustrations. Full business. Price, 25 cts. 

WHERE THE LILIES BLOOM. By H. L. 
Finer. Pathetic temperance monologue 
for a man, who is restored to v/ife by a 
song. Opportunity to sing, with guitar ac- 
companiment. Music given. Price. 15 cts. 

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS. Recited by 
Salvini. Monologue for a man. Colum- 
bus reviews his wonderful career, begin- 
ning, "Forlorn, alone and old— I die," and 
ending, "I die content. Columbus will be 
known in every clime." Very effective, 
especially if recited in costume. With 
this come 15 other pieces. Price, 25 cts. 

ENGAGED. By Livingston Russell. Ro- 
mantic, humorous monologue for a 
woman. Companion piece to "Cupid's 
Victim" (monologue for a man, 20 cents). 
A young woman who has just become 
engaged calls her departing lover back 
several times, and then falls into a gush- 
ing and hysterical reverie. She sorts 
over her love letters, plans how their 
room will be arranged, and runs off 
stage singing the Lohengrin Wedding 
March. Full business given. Price, 20 cts. 

PLAYING THE SOCIETY BELLE. By 
Bertha M. Wilson. Comedy monologue 
for a woman. Much of the fun arises 
from a dog running off with her slipper 
that she takes off at a ball to rest her 
foot. One of the characters assumed is 
that of a "wild, woolly Western girl." 
Full directions. Price, 15 cents. 

THE DOOR IS LOCKED. Trans, and Arr. 
by Ada Webster Ward. Comedy mono- 
logue for a woman. A wife, working 
herself into a fit of jealousy over the 
absence of her husband, locks the door 
and throws away the key. She keeps 
him standing outside, scolding him, until 
she learns that he has been fighting a 
duel for her sake. Then she eagerly hunts 
for the key. Full business. Price, 15 cts. 

THE SILVER DOLLAR. By Charles 
Barnard. A romantic, temperance mon- 
ologue for a woman, bringing in five 
characters. Mr. Barnard, the success- 
ful dramatist, has originated a new 
monologue, this being his latest. Suited 
to temperance, religious and other occa- 
sions. Full business. Price, 25 cents. 

WHEN JACK COMES LATE. By Helen 
C. Bergen. A comedy monologue for a 



woman, A young lady indulges in vari- 
ous kinds of emotions while impatiently 
awaiting the coming of her lover. Op- 
portunity for banjo work. Price, 15 cts. 

MAYPOLE EXERCISES. By A. Alex- 
ander. For outdoor and indoor use, 
with musical accompaniment and illus- 
trations. Price, 25 cents. 

GUN DRILL. By A. Alexander With 
musical accompaniment and illustra- 
tions. Price, 20 cents. 

COLUMBIA'S FLORAL EMBLEM. By 
Ella Sterling Cummins. A play for 
floral festivals and public school enter- 
tainments for the purpose of awakening 
an interest in choosing a national floral 
emblem for this country. Price, 25 cts. 

AND ALL ABOUT NOTHING. By Gar- 
rett W. Owens, a comedy drama in 
one act for three men and four women. 
Costume and scenery described and full 
business given. Price, 25 cents. 

MAYANNI. By Anne Henley. A fairy 
play for children, either indoor or out- 
door; ten characters for boys and girls, 
or for girls only. Price, 15 cents. 

CHRISTMAS BELL DRILL. By LiLY 
HOFFNER Wood. Suitable for Christmas 
time and other occasions. For 12 girls. 
Fully described; illustrated. Price,15cts. 

SCARF DRILL. By A. Alexander. Mu- 
sical accompaniment and 30 illustra- 
tions. A unique and easily produced 
entertainment. Price, 25 cents. 

THE SHADES OF SHAKESPEARE'S 
WOMEN. By A. Laurie West. Brings 
in Ariel. Portia, Juliet. Katharine (the 
Shrew), Lady Macbeth, Miranda, Desde- 
mona, Cornelia, Ophelia, Witches. Cos- 
tumes described and business given. 
Price, 25 cents. 

THE BLIND GIRL OF CASTEL-CUILLE. 
Poem by Longfellow. Illustrated tab- 
leaux, with musical accompaniment, by 
Marguerite W. Morton. A most charm- 
ing romantic, pathetic entertainment. 
Tableaux minutely described and all the 
music given. Price, 25 cents. 

COLUMBIA. By Mrs. Belle T. Speed. A 
drama bringing in a queen, 16 girls rep- 
resenting principles of the Republic, 6 
girls the navy, and six girls the army . 
Patriotic and poetic dialogue, and a 
concerted piece. Directions for cos- 
tumes and evolutions. Price, 25cents. 

COMEDY OF THE QUEENS. By Jennie 
P. BuFORD. A one-act play for school 
commencements, church entertain- 
ments. Characters: Titania, Eve, Isa- 
bella of Castile, Pocahontas, Queen Eliz- 
abeth, Mary, Queen of Scots, Christine 
of Sweden, Bathsh-^ba, Empress Joseph- 
ine, Cleopatra, Queen of Sheba, and 
Queen Victoria. Price, 25 cents. 



Edgar S. l¥erner, Publislier, 108 East 16tli Street, Neur York. 



AT 



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Playing the Society Belle, 

OR 

THE TRAGEDY OF A SLIPPER. 



By BERTHA M. WILSON. 



Scene.— A parlor or ballroom. Young lady in ball-dress enters 
talking to imaginary gentleman at her side. Make good use of fan. 
The voice should be high, affected, ' ' gushing. " 

OH, thank you, Mistah Kushah, so kind of you to find me 
this charming nook ! [Sit doiun and talk to man as if 
sitting near yon.] I felt quite faint. [Anxiously.] I feah 
I've spoiled a dance foah you, though. [Pause.] Oh, yes, 
indeed I have, Mistah Rushah, indeed I have! [Pause.] You'd 
rathah talk, Mistah Rushah ? [Simper.] How kind of you to 
say it ! But I'm shoah I shall be quite stupid — vewah stupid. 
[Patcse.] Mistah Rushah ! [Looh unutteraUes over your fan,] 
What nonsense ! I nevah stupid ! Oh-h-h ! [Shriek of 
delight. ] 

1 ado-ah a waltz myself. It is as if one had wings, you know, 
and weah [luere] soahing through the aiah [ai7']. So de- 
liciously dreamy ! It is what the poet would call — ah, — [roll 
uy eyes] what is it ? Ah — oh, yes, the motion of poetry, the 
motion of poetry! Nothing exaspahates me moah than to have 
to leave a waltz — a motion poem, you know, ^^7^finished ! 

[Languidly.] Ah, yes, I feel some bettah now, thank you. 
I am a vewah delicate organism, Mistah Rushah, veivah ! Mama 



4 PLAYING THE SOCIETY BELLE. 

says I inhewit all the blue blood cha-wac-tah-wistics of my ances- 
tahs — the old Knickahbockabs, you know, — except theah stu- 
ah-diness [sturdiness] of constitation. [Sigh, eyebrows pa- 
thetic] Ah, yes, believe I would like a cup of chocolate and 
[call after him] vewah light refreshments, Mr. Rushah, veivah 
light ! 

[Fa7i till he is out of sight, then change manner e^itirely ; lean 
hack and sigh; natural voice.] There, thank goodness, that 
insipid specimen is gone! [Sit tip, energetically exclai^n.] 
Faint ! [Bite lips.] I should think I was ! That ponderous 
old Smith came down full weight on my foot ! No wonder I 
wanted to seek a [mimicijig affected voice] " sequestahed nook! " 
[Looks at foot thrust out hefore her.] Those slippers are several 
sizes too small. Ridiculous things! but [aff'ected voice] "50 
Pa-wis-an [Parisan] you know ! [Look around furtively.] 
Don't believe anyone's looking. [Suit actioyi to luord.] I'm 
going to slip it oif — just got to stretch my poor toes a little ! 
[Tooie of dismay.] Gracious ! I've danced a hole as big as a 
dollar in my stocking ! [Lean hack comfortahly, stretching 
foot.] My ! this is a relief ! Oh — hum ! When you are in 
Rome, you must do as the Romans do ! My good Aunt De 
Peyster has been in a fever of agitation for fear I'd shock the 
[affected tone] elite [natural voice] with my [affected voice and 
draivl] " uncul-tu-ahed Westahn mannahs." [Laughs softly 
and mischievously.] Think if she could have heard the conver- 
sation just passed she would have taken me for a finished East- 
ern boarding-school production ! I know the young thing gone 
for the chocolate considers me a [ma7i's lazy drawl] ' ' charming 
cre-ah-tuah ! Really ! " 

Here comes the English lord [look furtively toward him] 
strutting with importance, like the peacock he is ! Eyeglass 
adjusted [tur7i head aside]. I'm going to shock him, shatter 
his delicate English nerves. I'll play the wild, wooly Western 
girl. [Start and look of dismay.] That slipper! [Resigiia- 



TMP92-007474 



PLAYING THE SOCIETY BELLE. 6 

Hon.'] Well, I can't get it on now; he's bearing down upon me 
full sail. I'll just have to sit still and look innocent. 

[Nod smartly to lord^ voice rather loud and a little nasal; 
change lohole manner. '\ How d'ye do. Guess I've met you 
before. Catchum, ain't it ? Lord Catchum ? I thought so. 
\Motion him to sit doion^ then confidentially .'\ We've got lots o' 
lords out our way. Yep, fact! — lords o' creation! Ha, ha! 
\^Laugh.'\ We've got ladies o' creation, too. We believe in 
women's rights out West ! \Pause.'\ Disgusting ? Not a bit ! 
[^Emphatic nod of head.] It's immense ! Did you ever see 
many Western women ? Didn't ! Missed the experience of a 
lifetime ! They're awful smart. I'm a specimen. Why, they 
know as much about business as the men do ! Yes, sir, they doc- 
tor, practice law, and extract teeth without pain like lightning. 
Then they make things red hot for the saloon people — especially 
in Iowa. Why, the women there just turn the faucets in the 
beer kegs and water the streets with the liquid. That's what 
started the report that intoxicants flowed so free there, even if 
it was a prohibition state ! Say, streets running with beer and 
stuff is the next best thing to a land "flowing with milk and 
honey," ain't it? Yes, sir, the women just take hold and help 
the men when they get faint and weary in the wearing occupa- 
tion of enforcing the law. They're helpmates with a big H to 
the "help !" 

How do they look ? Purty well, as a whole. Most of them 
got rather big waists, but then there's lots o' air out there that's 
got to be breathed, and they couldn't do it harnessed in an 
eighteen -inch belt. They put their gloves on in the street, 
too — that is when they wear any, — and, say [very confidentially 
a7id hesitati7igly] once in a while [pause] they — oh, I guess I'd 
better not tell. Shall I? Well, they [whisper dramatically] 
wear their hair in curl-papers ! [£)?'aiv back to notice effect; 
mock horror.] Awful, isn't it? [Sigh and go on to exjjlai^i 
apologetically.] Yes, they'd rather do it than buy the curls 



6 PLAYING THE SOCIETY BELLE. 

ready made every few weeks, like the Eastern girls do. They 
have an eye to economy. Cnrl-papers are cheaper than hair. 

They wear one thing out West that I don't believe you ever 
saw. \^Pause.^ What is it? Spectacles with two eyes. Curi- 
ous, but I've noticed you English never seem to have but one 
weak eye. Very curious ! Some few Americans are affected 
that way, too, but they are principally members of the Ape 
club ! Have you met any of them ? 

No, I'm not an heiress. I'm an American, though. \^Pause.'\ 
' Tis strange, but then / live out West. When girls get to be heir- 
esses they come East and lords and barons and other things pro- 
pose to 'em, and then for a while [dramatically'] oblivion's dusky 
curtain swathes them round about ! [BrisMy.] Before long, 
though, the search-light of a newspaper sensation brings them 
to view again. 

[Tawn^ natural voice, aside and helmid faoi.'] This is getting 
tiresome. Guess I'll have to bring the conversation to a close. 
[7'(9 the lord, condescendingly.] I'll overlook your breach of 
propriety in not proposing to me ! You look startled, Mr. 
Catchem. Of course, I'm not an heiress and that excuses you, 
perhaps, but it is supposed that a member of the foreign nobility 
will propose to an American girl. It is one of the unwritten 
laws of etiquette, just the same as it is expected you will raise 
your hat when you meet a lady. Some of you English forget to d@ 
even that ! But you've not been over very long, I guess. [In- 
dulgently ; then in sur 'prise.] What, going? Well, good-bye, 
Mr. Catchum. If you ever come out to Morning Sun \or sub- 
stitute the name of some tvell-hiotvn little village^ just hunt me 
up. I can show you the sights whether ma's home or not ! 
[Nod and luave handkerchief till he has supposedly vanished in 
the crowd, then he yourself once more. Laugh heartily.] Oh ! 
wasn't that glorious ! The World [or substitute name of local 
paper] will doubtless came out in glaring head-lines to-morrow 
[read off of hand]: " Nobility stricken — Lord Catchum suffer- 



PLAYING THE SOCIETY BELLE. 7 

ing from severe nervous prostration ! " [Laugh mischievously.] 
Ah ! [Look in direction " Rushah^^ is supjiosed to have dis- 
appeared.'] Methinks I see It returning with the chocolate, 
[then glance in other direction] and, lo ! in the southwest ap- 
proacheth quite a black cloud of gentlemen. Probably the lord 
has spread the report of my fascinating conversational powers. 
[Aside.] Presto, change! I become the society butterfly again, 
that I may bask in the sunshine of their smiles. [Fan, smile 
engagingly, hoiv right and left, talhing first to one then another, 
and in the affected, gushing tone used to open the monologue.] 

Ah, good evening, gentlemen ! Yes, it is wahm. You 
wished to see my cahd, Mistah Mashah ? Ceahtainly. [Hand 
it Old.] The opwah last night was ma-ah-valous ! Don't you 
think so ? I dote on opwah ! By the way, have you read 
Jerome's " Stageland ? " Jerome is delicious \ I screamed 
with delight ! Mistah Smackum, don't you ado-ah Jerome ? 
Thanks, Mistah Rushah, foah the chocolate. [Make motion of 
taking it.] So kind of you ! Oh ! [A delicate scream of 
horror.] You must think I have an appetite like a — a — a — , I 
really don't know what ! Two sections of cake ! Why, a meah 
fragment is all I could eat ! [Look animated ccs you, in panto- 
mime, eat a hit of cake.] Theah's the music ! Isn't it heavenly ? 
[Nod and look at card.] Yes, this is yoah dance, Mistah Ogle. 
[Set aside plate and shake handkerchief.] I guess I'll have to 
leave you, gentlemen. [Fdse and start to tvalk, stop short. 
Aside, natural voice, in dismay.] Ye gods ! That slipper off ! 
What shall I do ? [Hesitatingly to Mr. Ogle, in society voice.] 
Ah, I — really — [nervously] don't believe I'd bettah — dance 
this dance aftah all ! [Start to sit dotvn.] You won't give it 
up ? Oh, nonsense ! [Laugh nervously, then aside, natural 
voice.] If I take a step the hole in my stocking will show and 
my toe through the hole. Look how those idiots are all stand- 
ing around ! I'll have to face it through some way. 

[The society voice, feigned embarrassment.] Ahem ! Well, 



PLAYING THE SOCIETY BEL 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

■H 



Mistah Ogle, I may as well be frank. It is 015 793, 005 

ing — but — oh, deah! — oh, how dreadful! — my — slippah has 
slipped off [very rapidly, and loohing for slipper']. They we-ah 
— ah — so large, you know — I thought I'd sacrifice looks to com- 
foaht to-night, and you see the — the deploahable consequence. 
No, [i^wi^ Old hands] I can put it on in a second. [Look of con- 
cern., piislilack cliair.] It must be neah the cha-ah, [Aside^ 
natural voice.] Where ^5 it? This is a pretty fix ! {More 
searching^ tlien in society voice.] Why, how entr all dinar y ! 
[Aside., natural voice.] There ! they're all down on their knees 
pawing the ground for that slipper ! Never had so many men 
on their knees before me all at once ! What has become of it ? 
[Rising^ then affected voice.] Gentlemen, I am covahed with 
confusion ! I — I — feah I shall — faint ! Oh, this is dread- 
ful ! What ? Can't you find it ? [Intense anxiety., then assumed 
tragic despair.] Call my aunt ! I must go home ! 

[8tart, clasp hands and lean forward excitedly.] Oh, gentle- 
men, what is the mattah? What are you all rushing at ! 
[Aside., 7iatural voice.] Upon my word, that miserable little 
pug dog of Aunt's carried it off and has been promenading the 
parlors chewing the heel ! [Bow to returning gentdeman., society 
voice.] Thank you, gentlemen, thank you ! I don't know 
when I've been so moahtified ! [Reach out hand for slipper.] 
Oh, I'll put it on. [Aside.] They will see that hole yet. [^S'o- 
ciety voice, hand p%ishing them lack.] No, no ! [Bend down 
quickly., then rising trmmp)ha7itly] Theali, theah ! Thank 
you, gentlemen ! [Fan gracefully.] You are gallant as the 
knights of old. [Tu7^ning to Ogle.] Ah, my deah Mistah 
Ogle, ou-ah dance? [To gentlemen.] Adieu, gentlemen! [Bow 
and wave fa7i and handkerchief .] Adieu ! [Aside, in natural 
voice to audience as you leave stage.] I'll fix that pug dog, and 
this is the last time. Aunt or no Aunt, that I'll play the Society 
Belle! 

CURTAIN. 



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015 793 005 9 



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